“Gemini Man” Second Trailer!

Nobody’s changed the boring sci-fi logo for this film, which is a real shame – but at least this time around they’ve made it glow, so that’s something. Seriously, I give them three months to swap that logo out for something even remotely interesting, and they give me the exact same thing but in neon blue?

As for the trailer itself, its content has gotten more convoluted than last time, but at least they’ve extracted some of the cringey dialogue like “You made a person out of another person”. But just wait; I’m sure that memorable line is still somewhere in the movie itself, they’ll just trick you into thinking they’ve changed so they can get you into the theater. Who would do such a thing?, you might ask. David Benioff, I might answer in this hypothetical scenario. Benioff, one of the two Game of Thrones screenwriters now literally synonymous with “bad writers” in Google’s database,  is undoubtedly going through a hard time – but that honestly doesn’t excuse the fact that he apparently wrote this film: and besides, he’s getting a job with Disney writing a Star Wars trilogy, so I’m sure he’ll be fine.

Will Smith still seems to be trying really hard to sell this story about an assassin trying to rescue his young clone from a life of brainwashing and manipulation: granted, Gemini Man is able to get to that premise before the upcoming Marvel film Black Widow, which looks like it might include that element as well. But take a wild guess which one will succeed. Anyway, one problem with the trailer is that Will Smith – obviously – plays both himself and his younger-looking clone, and it’s very difficult to figure out when he’s talking or his clone is; leaving aside the fact that they look similar enough that it’s sometimes hard to tell them apart. And to top it off, Will Smith is the film’s only selling point, so he has to be the brunt of really bad title-card puns, like “Who WILL Save You?”

One thing this trailer improves is its action: apparently you can do quite a lot with a bicycle – though said bicycle scene seems to be the film’s crown jewel of action scenes so far, which makes me a little nervous. We’ve got a fight in a hardware store with young Will Smith riding a tank into battle – I think it’s young Will Smith, could be the random dude in the suit who shows up occasionally to look evil, though. There’s one cool sequence where our Will Smith throws a grenade at young Will Smith, only to have young Will Smith hit it with a bullet in mid-air and send it ricocheting back. Honestly, I’m having a very hard time finding anything interesting here at all. And having Will Smith (our Will Smith, not young Will Smith) tell the other Will Smith ominously at the end of the trailer that “This has to be stopped, because what if somebody knew what we really are?” – well, that doesn’t cut it either. Because I don’t frankly care what they really are: they’re Will Smith and a CGI construct of Will Smith – the trailers haven’t given me any reason to want to see what happens to them, or what secrets about their past might be uncovered.

Trailer Rating: 4/10

“Eternals” Filming Begins?

With Marvel’s Eternals now officially confirmed for a November 2020 release date, and assembling an impressive all-star cast, it seems only a matter of time before cameras actually begin rolling and we start seeing behind-the-scenes photos, footage, etc. There was even some hinting at San Diego Comic-Con over the weekend that filming had already begun, a little earlier than anticipated. Now, we might – possibly – have a clearer idea of what’s going to happen in the film, and which characters might have yet to be cast.

According to one source, sets are currently being built for the Eternals film over at Pinewood Studios in England, where production is slated to begin in September. The set, which appears to be a large pyramidal temple with ornately-carved statues, was initially believed to be intended for Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker reshoots set on the iconic Yavin IV planet from the original trilogy, but closer examination shows that the site, and especially the statues are probably intended to look Aztec in origin, rather than…Yavini? Yavinese? Yavinish? I don’t know. I mean, ignoring the basic fact that any Aztec site built in England is going to look very different from a Mesoamerican jungle until CGI and fake tropical plants are used, the set does look like an Aztec temple.

"Eternals" Filming Begins? 1
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Why, though, would an Aztec temple be built for Eternals? Well, there’s one very good reason I can think of: the entire Eternals comic book history begins in one such temple, all the way back in 1976. In Jack Kirby’s The Eternals #1, archaeologists Daniel Damian and Margo Damian traveled to Central America to uncover ancient Aztec ruins, only to discover that they had actually stumbled upon the Tomb of the Space Gods. Naturally, the Tomb was opened, a whole bunch of extremely weird stuff happened, and eventually Margo Damian was turned into a Deviant and killed, because that’s what tended to happen to female characters in old comic books. I highly doubt that a modern adaptation of the story would allow Margo to die off so quickly, but it does seem that she (or, at least, a fully fleshed-out character loosely-based on the cardboard cutout that previously held the name) will appear in the upcoming Eternals film: though she wasn’t one of the characters revealed at San Diego Comic-Con, there are still reports going around that the film’s lead will be a human female archaeologist with the codename of “Karen”. These new images, possibly unveiling a first look at the Tomb, give credence to this theory.

And just because we got a whole bunch of casting announcements at Comic-Con doesn’t mean there’s not many more to come. If Disney is to be believed, what we’ve seen already is just the tip of the iceberg: the D23 event next month will apparently give us even more food for thought, including confirmation of several more Marvel films, more casting, and possibly some early footage from Black Widow (though we’re also getting a first look at Black Widow on the Avengers: Endgame Blu-Ray release at the end of this month, so stay tuned for that!). It wouldn’t be shocking if more people joined the Eternals ensemble cast at D23, considering that there are a whole bunch of roles which might still need to be filled – including Sersi, the Damians, Elysius, Zuras, Druig, Eros and maybe Hercules. Some of these roles might have been written out of the script since they were initially reported early this year, but these new set images indicate that the Damians, at least, are still in for the time being.

“Harriet” Trailer!

This trailer makes me so happy and so sad at the same time: happy, because it’s about time someone adapted the incredible story of Harriet Tubman to the big screen; sad, because it’s a Focus Features film, and mainstream audiences rarely, if ever, go to see those in theaters (last I checked, the official trailer had less than a hundred likes on YouTube)  – for this one, though, I have to hope they’ll make an exception: it can’t just be critics who get to experience this!

The film will explore the true story of the life and times of Harriet Tubman, the legendary black abolitionist who fought to free African Americans from the horrors of slavery, as one of the leading conductors on the Underground Railway. The trailer showcases drama, and a lot of action: unusual for Focus Features, which tends to be more small-scale and intimate – but Harriet looks to have a whole bunch of battles and the like, led by one really awesome and inspiring black heroine. Plus, it’s got a really catchy song. Harriet herself will be played by Cynthia Erivo (inspired casting), while Janelle Monáe also has a substantial role in the film – yes, like, the real Janelle Monáe: as in, how many good reasons do I need to give you to go see this film when it comes out in November? Honestly, it looks better than the Fred Rogers biopic also premiering that month, and I didn’t expect that at all.

Maybe the film won’t be as good as it looks to be, but this trailer is a work of art: until I actually see substantial proof that I’m wrong, I’m declaring this to be one of those films that you must see at some point, even if you catch it on streaming afterwards or whatnot.

Trailer Rating: 10/10

Markella Kavenagh Joins Amazon’s Lord Of The Rings Series!

The Amazon Prime Lord of the Rings series has just tapped its first cast member, not long after several small announcements broke at The One Ring.net‘s panel on Saturday night at San Diego Comic-Con (news which was completely overshadowed by the Marvel panel that same night). Let’s dig into this news – I am literally so excited right now, I can’t even breathe.

Okay, the big news, the reason you’re here: yes, casting has officially begun for Amazon’s series based on the works of fantasy author J.R.R. Tolkien – set in the Second Age, long before the events of Tolkien’s most famous novel, The Lord of the Rings, the series is set to explore things like the creation of the Rings of Power, the rise and fall of the civilization of Númenor, and the War of the Last Alliance (which fans of the movie trilogy will remember from the brief prologue in Fellowship of the Ring). I’m giving as simple a version of the story as I can, so that this post is accessible to people who haven’t read the books – but I’m actually dying to just rant for thirty minutes about obscure details from Tolkien’s posthumously published works, such as Unfinished Tales, or about the tale of Galadriel and Celeborn, or the – oh wait, I have news to cover. Right. Let me compose myself.

CASTING HAS BEGUN!

Markella Kavenagh Joins Amazon's Lord Of The Rings Series! 2
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Markella Kavenagh, best known for her role on Picnic At Hanging Rock, has been cast for an undisclosed role in Amazon’s series – so far, the only detail about her character is that she might be named Tyra. Now, there is nobody in Tolkien’s works named Tyra, so we can assume that Kavenagh is playing an entirely new character: that’s not a complaint, because it was pretty much inevitable that, to make the show interesting, there would need to be some new protagonists and antagonists. We don’t yet have any details on whether Tyra will be a human or an elf – or, perhaps, a dwarf? Or a female orc?

As for the news from the Comic-Con panel, well, we’ve got confirmation that John Howe, one of the art directors for the original movie trilogy, will be working on the show; J.D. Payne, Patrick McKay and Gennifer Hutchison have been joined by possibly three more screenwriters; J.A. Bayona will direct the first two episodes; Amazon has an interest in exploring stories set in the kingdom of Angmar (a place you may or may not remember from The Hobbit trilogy: it was only briefly touched upon, doesn’t matter, moving on before I start ranting again); and there will be plenty of merchandise from the show, including high-quality jewelry – look out for replicas of all the Rings of Power.

How do you feel about this news? Are you as excited as I am? I don’t think that’s even humanly possible! Leave your thoughts in the comments below!!!