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June 9, 2021June 9, 2021

“Loki” 1st Episode Is Weird In The Most English Way Ever

**SPOILERS FOR LOKI AHEAD!**

The greatest compliment I can give Loki is that in just its first episode, it already feels like a long-lost sequel or companion piece to the Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency books, complete with recurring characters from Norse mythology. Just swap out the hilarious, bumbling, kind-hearted Gently for Owen Wilson’s hilarious, bumbling, seemingly-kind-hearted-but-probably-a-lot-more-formidable-than-he-lets-on Mobius M. Mobius, and the holistic detective agency itself for the vast, sprawling entity of the Time Variance Authority, a nigh-on omnipotent organization on the outskirts of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, whence Mobius and a fleet of agents nicknamed Minutemen preside over what they call “The Sacred Timeline”.

Throw in a time-hopping mass murderer (or rather, two versions of the same being), and you’ve got yourself an absurd yet surprisingly profound semi-satirical comedy of which I think Dirk Gently’s creator Douglas Adams, or for that matter Good Omens‘ Neil Gaiman or Discworld’s Terry Pratchett, would be proud. What these three authors have in common (or at least, the one shared trait I’m interested in for the purposes of this review) is their Englishness. Loki‘s head writer Michael Waldron is not himself English, which I personally find fascinating, because he’s nevertheless created something distinctly in the same vein as both the aforementioned authors’ works and the long-running English TV show Dr. Who, using the same kind of humor, dry wit, and quirky stylistic choices as those other – fantastic – pieces of media.

Some of that must surely be attributable to Waldron’s partners in inter-dimensional crime behind the scenes and in front of the camera, both of whom actually are English: director Kate Herron, who brings sophistication and humor in equal parts to her work; and Tom Hiddleston, who returns to the title role with the same vigor and Shakespearean gravitas he’s been breathing into the character of Loki Laufeyson since the very first Thor movie. Hiddleston’s still got it: the “it” in this case being the ability to turn on a dime from raging homicidal god-king “burdened with glorious purpose” to pleasantly rakish charmer, and to win our hearts either way. The fact that Loki himself doesn’t distinguish between the two sides of his personality just makes it all the more enjoyable, because he’s a god, unconcerned with being one thing or another when he can be everything at once and never have to answer to anyone, for anything.

Well, at least until the Time Variance Authority (TVA, for short) interrupts his attempted escape from the alternate timeline which diverged from 2012 during Avengers: Endgame. The beauty of this is that Loki represents, or believes he represents, extreme anarchy: chaos for chaos’ sake, nihilism across all Nine Realms, and the threat of Ragnarok hurled at whoever would oppose his misrule. The TVA is the antithesis of everything he stands for – it is the very pinnacle of rigid mechanical capitalism and all the lifeless bureaucracy that comes with it, grinding inexorably forward yet going nowhere, rewarding conformity and seeking to violently eliminate any deviation from the status quo which cannot be manipulated to serve the institution.

That’s the capitalism embodied by Mobius M. Mobius, who steps in to protect Loki from the harsh sentence passed down by the TVA’s Judge Renslayer (Gugu Mbatha-Raw). He frames his intervention as an act of mercy, but what he sees in Loki is an opportunity to help the TVA continue as it always has. In the premiere episode’s final minutes, it’s revealed that at least one other variant of Loki exists, and that the TVA has been struggling to capture and contain this variant before his (or more likely, her) reckless gallivanting across the timeline causes a second multiversal war like the one depicted in a retro animated flashback playing on the TV in one of the TVA’s waiting rooms. This threat to the capitalist system is posed by an anarchist, albeit one who seems more wholeheartedly committed to bringing about the end of all order than our self-doubting Loki – but Loki is nonetheless the sole individual who could conceivably get into this variant’s headspace, figure out their next move, and help bring them into custody.

He’s a tool, basically.

But Mobius, while exploitative and callous, is the best option Loki’s got at the moment. Renslayer, who appears to the be the most devoted to the overarching mission of the TVA, clearly wants him eliminated (and once he’s done using the God of Mischief to his advantage, I’m positive Mobius will back her in that effort), while Hunter B-15 (Wunmi Mosaku), a trigger-happy field agent whose disgust for Loki seems to outweigh her loyalties to the organization, seems like she might laser-beam him out of existence the second Mobius’ back is turned. It’s understandable why they’re all wary: Loki is a corrosive force of nature, who could easily disrupt the TVA’s workflow with his unpredictable attitude. It starts with telling Casey the receptionist (Eugene Cordero) what a fish is, but where does it end? Mutiny against the TVA elite?

The TVA is supposedly presided over by a trifecta of alien deities known as the Time-Keepers, who, according to the aforementioned animated propaganda, were responsible for saving the multiverse from self-destruction in the far-distant past (or perhaps its future; time is weird that way). But they appear to have taken a step back from the organization in the millennia since, assuming they’re even still alive, or existed in the first place. Now, the closest thing the TVA has to a leader is their animated mascot Miss Minutes (voiced by Tara Strong), a grinning clock-face with a Southern drawl who ruminates cheerfully from a thousand screens and posters in every TVA office, waiting room, and hallway, on all the possible ways to terminate time variants who step out of line.

In the absence of much action, the premiere is free to do a lot of world-building (and I mean a lot, more than was probably necessary for most general viewers), heightening our sense of awe and fear with an almost surgically precise use of Natalie Holt’s dizzying psychedelic score, which vibrates in the TVA’s laminated floors and builds to a crescendo as Loki gets his first glimpse of the organization in its entirety: a trippy sci-fi wonderland of infinite spires, columns, and cathedral-like structures, all decorated in violent shades of taupe. It’s a place where the earth-shattering events of the MCU have no relevance, where spare variant Infinity Stones get tossed around as paperweights – a humbling revelation that just goes to show how much pain could have been averted at literally any point in the MCU’s history if the TVA actually cared about the people in the Sacred Timeline they’re meant to protect.

But they don’t. Their belief is that the Sacred Timeline will take care of itself, if they stick to pruning the offshoots, the alternates, and the variants. What constitutes a deviation from the timeline is still rather unclear – for instance, it’s revealed that the TVA was perfectly okay with Loki hijacking a plane in the 1970’s after losing a bet to his brother Thor, and becoming internationally famous on Earth as the mysterious D.B. Cooper. Is it the Time-Keepers making these decisions on what can be allowed to happen? Is it Miss Minutes? Who is behind all this?

I suspect we’ll find out more soon enough, and the answer may have something to do with the Loki variant whose been wreaking havoc in 16th Century France and 1850’s Oklahoma (1858 in Salina, Oklahoma, specifically: an extremely deep-cut reference, one year before the first oil was discovered in the state). I have little doubt that said variant will turn out to be some version of Lady Loki, played by Sophia Di Martino, although other candidates range from Richard E. Grant as Old Loki to Jonathan Majors as Kang the Conqueror. This rollercoaster is just getting off the ground, and I can tell we’re in for a wild ride.

Episode Rating: 9/10

May 4, 2021

“The Bad Batch” Episode 1 Review!

**SPOILERS FOR THE BAD BATCH AHEAD!**

I’m gonna be honest, the Bad Batch didn’t make much of an impression on me when they debuted in The Clone Wars‘ final season just last year. The concept – an elite team of genetically-defective clones whose individual mutations give them special abilities – was admittedly quite intriguing, but the execution was only okay, never elevating the material. And despite their uniqueness being so crucial to their very existence, there wasn’t ever enough time in that season to clearly distinguish their character arcs; only their physical appearances, skills, and a handful of archetypal traits.

But now the Bad Batch have an entire sixteen-episode series in which to extensively explore both their team dynamic and individual storylines; and the series’ premiere event (which clocks in at 71 minutes, longer than any episode of The Mandalorian, or even Marvel’s Disney+ originals) sets an appropriately dark and sophisticated tone for that journey, much like the final season of The Clone Wars. The first episode dives into the fascinating question of what happened to the Old Republic’s clone armies after they had played their part in initiating Order 66: mindlessly slaughtering the Jedi and clearing a path for Emperor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid) to conquer the galaxy.

While most Star Wars media has looked at Order 66 from the perspective of the Jedi who survived it and went into hiding, The Bad Batch picks up with the clones themselves, who have nowhere to hide from the shame and guilt of what they’re slowly beginning to realize was the entire purpose for their existence all along. The Bad Batch themselves didn’t even kill any Jedi – the inhibitor chips planted in their brains are faulty, giving them their unique personalities and casual disregard for orders – but they won’t turn their backs on other clones: especially not the one member of their team unit, Crosshair (voiced, like all clones, by Dee Bradley Baker), whose inhibitor chip is still working strongly enough to give him internal conflict as he fights between his programming and what he knows to be right.

Star Wars loves inflicting an undue amount of pain and grief on its fans, so it’s no surprise that The Bad Batch opens by once again reliving Order 66 – but what did surprise me was that we finally get to see the death of the Jedi Depa Billaba (Archie Panjabi), and the fateful moment at which she told her young padawan, Caleb Dume (Freddie Prinze Jr.) to flee before the clones could kill him too, burdening him with years of guilt and setting him on the path to become the rogue knight Kanan Jarrus, whom we would later meet in Star Wars: Rebels. Is it slightly distracting that Dume – a young teen at this point in the timeline – has an adult man’s voice? Maybe, but Prinze Jr. is iconic and frankly irreplaceable in this role.

What Jarrus left out of his tragic backstory was that the Bad Batch were witnesses to this horrific moment, and that it was the team’s commander, Hunter, who allowed him to escape even though Crosshair was prepared to kill the young Jedi. Much of the episode’s first half revolves around this decision and its ramifications, including the wedge it drives between Hunter and Crosshair – eventually leading the sharpshooter to betray the team and join forces with Admiral Tarkin (Stephen Stanton).

But even with Tarkin and Dume’s cameos, the episode feels like it’s kicking off a fresh and unique story that will organically weave these and other cameos into the narrative (whereas The Mandalorian simply shoehorned them in wherever possible), while keeping the focus on our core cast of characters. The Bad Batch, thankfully, are all pretty interesting once you get to know a little bit more about them: I particularly adore Wrecker, the team’s big scary muscly sweetheart, and Tech, who’s an endearingly snarky know-it-all. Echo is the only member who still feels in need of a personality boost, but his character was originally a regular clone before joining the Batch, so that’s not entirely surprising.

The team also gains a new member in this episode – a young girl (voiced by Michelle Ang) with an adventurous streak, whose backstory is still something of a mystery. Ominously named Omega, she comes from the cloning facilities of Kamino, where she works as a medical assistant to the Kaminoan doctor Nala Se (Gwendoline Yeo), but the episode doesn’t take long to confirm that she is in fact another defective clone. Since all clones are assigned male at birth, Omega’s gender identity is pretty significant – although I’m wary of concluding from this that she’s meant to be a trans character, as some fans have been saying. Unfortunately, I feel her distinctive white-blonde hair and possible Force-sensitivity give away that she’s more likely an early prototype of a Palpatine clone.

But even if that is the case, I like her character a lot – and her wide-eyed reaction to traveling through hyperspace for the first time made the simple plot device feel magical again after nine movies. Hopefully she survives through The Bad Batch, and doesn’t transform into Snoke from the sequel trilogy or something like that, but I genuinely won’t be surprised if her character is meant to explain away some of the plot-holes in The Rise Of Skywalker.

I want to believe that the show is too sophisticated to go down that route, however, because in other regards it displays the same level of subtlety and thematic cohesion found in most of Dave Filoni’s animated projects. On that note, The Bad Batch can certainly be enjoyed by both adults and kids, but the premiere’s longer runtime combined with its darker, more contemplative tone may cause the audience to skew a little older. The action scenes are fun and lively (teamwork is always cool, especially when it involves characters cleverly building off each other’s strengths), but there’s not a lot of fighting in this particular episode.

Considering that I went into The Bad Batch expecting to be bored out of my mind by characters who I hadn’t really liked when they first showed up, I regard all of this as a huge win – and I’m excited to see where the series goes from here. I’m not sure if it’ll be my next obsession like Rebels was, but I will continue to review it because I like Star Wars, even when it seems purposefully designed to cause me emotional distress.

Episode Rating: 8/10

April 20, 2021

Marvel Nabs Emilia Clarke For “Secret Invasion” In Shock Casting

More than a year after Emilia Clarke declared she was going to take a break from big franchise roles following the, shall we say, highly controversial (read: absolutely disastrous) ending of Game Of Thrones, she’s back – and her triumphant return to franchise roles is going to be a big one, befitting the woman who brought Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, First of Her Name, the Unburnt, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons, to life; and scored four Emmy nominations in the process. Clarke is in final talks to join Marvel’s upcoming Disney+ series, Secret Invasion, one of the studio’s most hotly-anticipated crossover events.

Emilia Clarke as Daenerys Targaryen | ign.com

Funnily enough, Marvel is the one studio Emilia Clarke said she’d consider breaking her no-franchise rule for if they approached her – saying that “I want to do something stupid and silly, like, you know, the Avengers or whatever. Something where I got to have a giggle with mates.” I’m sure it won’t be long before a certain faction of perpetually embittered MCU stans freak out at her over that quote, but Clarke wants to have fun with a Marvel role, and I can’t blame her. The popularity of Kathryn Hahn’s Agatha Harkness proves that silly, campy, supervillains are back in style, at least.

Right now, we don’t know anything about Emilia Clarke’s role in Secret Invasion, but I hope she gets a chance to have that “giggle with mates”, because she deserves it. As soon as I heard about her casting (a bit belatedly, thanks to a poorly-timed dentist appointment), my mind jumped straight to the character of Abigail Brand, who seems like an obvious candidate for a leading role in Secret Invasion that would still give someone of Clarke’s stature a chance to do some real acting. She won’t be commanding fleets of dragons or battling hordes of the undead, but Abigail Brand is a character I’m very excited to see in live-action.

First of all, she’s a extraterrestrial mutant with tattoos on her biceps and choppy green hair to go with her bright green goggles and uniform, whose half-brother is a furry alien – so Clarke has an opportunity to do something silly with the role, if that’s still what she wants. Secondly, Brand’s mutant power is classified as “tactile pyrokinesis”, allowing her hands to turn into burning-hot energy-balls – which is both silly and potentially very cool. I mean, Emilia Clarke with arm-tats and green hair is already going to be intrinsically cool, but add the ability to throw around multicolored fireballs, and my hype-levels just keep increasing. Thirdly, Brand is the commander of S.W.O.R.D., and that’s where things get a bit more complicated.

In the MCU, we’ve only seen the earth-based division of S.W.O.R.D., and the organization’s mission was depicted as being completely different from the comics (observing “sentient weapons” rather than “sentient worlds”). It was revealed that S.W.O.R.D. has a space division in the MCU, but that it was scrapped in the five years following the Blip due to a personnel shortage. And while S.W.O.R.D.’s antagonistic director Tyler Hayward was the one who gave the order to halt manned missions to space, he was arrested at the end of WandaVision, so his seat is now vacant…and it won’t be filled by Monica Rambeau, who’s on her way to space to join Nick Fury. WandaVision indirectly allowed for Abigail Brand to make her MCU debut as Hayward’s successor.

Abigail Brand (foreground) | gamesradar.com

That arc could potentially give Emilia Clarke an opportunity to do some real dramatic acting as well as silly stuff like shoot fireballs out of her hands (something her Secret Invasion costar, Oscar-winner Olivia Colman, said she wanted to do way back in 2016). In the comics, Brand plays a crucial part in the Secret Invasion storyline, which involves villainous shapeshifting Skrulls infiltrating Earth while disguised as prominent superheroes. As one of Nick Fury’s top agents at S.W.O.R.D., Brand is trapped on the organization’s interstellar headquarters when a Skrull terrorist blows it to bits, forcing Brand and other S.W.O.R.D. to don life-support systems and try to survive the vacuum of space (she does, but it would make for some very harrowing television).

Later, Brand joins Alpha Flight, the organization that essentially replaces S.W.O.R.D. in the comics, where she has a hostile relationship with the team’s leader, Carol Danvers. If Danvers does have a cameo in Secret Invasion, as I’ve long believed she may, the seeds of this dynamic could be planted (unless Clarke’s role is a one-and-done type of thing, but I sincerely hope that’s not the case). But Brand isn’t really friendly with anyone – she’s frequently antagonistic to Nick Fury, and his second-in-command, Maria Hill. And now I need to see Emilia Clarke getting her sass game on in heated arguments with Samuel L. Jackson. There’s too many reasons to love this casting.

Of course, it’s possible Clarke won’t be playing Brand – some fans think she’ll portray Spider-Woman, though there’s the underlying question of whether Sony would agree to allow the character to debut in a Disney+ series. A lot of Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. fans seem resigned to the fact that Daisy Johnson will appear in Secret Invasion with a new actress (to which I say: don’t give up hope!), but even if Marvel does recast Chloe Bennet, the optics of rewriting the studio’s first Asian-American heroine as a white woman would be downright awful, and I don’t see them doing that. But my money’s on Brand, and it’s the option for which I’d be most excited.

Talos and the Skrulls | denofgeek.com

That being said, I’m happy for Emilia Clarke no matter who she’s playing. She’s been through a lot, and I hope working with Marvel, alongside talent like Samuel L. Jackson, Ben Mendelsohn, Kingsley Ben-Adir, and Olivia Coleman, gives her all the giggles she wants from her superhero debut.

But what do you think? Which character do you want Emilia Clarke to play? Share your own thoughts, theories, and opinions, in the comments below!

April 17, 2021

Who Is Contessa Valentina Allegra de Fontaine?

**SPOILERS FOR THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER AHEAD!**

Ralph Bohner walked, so Contessa Valentina Allegra de Fontaine could…also walk, but in really fancy high-heeled boots that even she admitted were incredibly uncomfortable.

There was a time, at the height of WandaVision‘s popularity, that it didn’t seem so inconceivable that any number of celebrity cameos might populate the series’ later episodes, giving rise to countless theories each more outlandish than the last. First it was Evan Peters as Peter Maximoff, then suddenly the entire X-Men universe was going to spill over into Westview by means of the Multiverse, including Ian McKellen as Magneto, Patrick Stewart as Professor X, and Hugh Jackman as Wolverine. Then it was Tobey Maguire as Spider-Man, for reasons still unbeknownst to me. Somewhere along the line, fans decided a throwaway reference to an “aerospace engineer” was actually a nod to Mr. Fantastic or Blue Marvel. Al Pacino as Mephisto was a topic of serious debate.

And in the end, the big cameos that WandaVision teased turned out to either be misdirects or literal pranks by the cast. Evan Peters wasn’t even playing Peter Maximoff: he was just a random guy named Ralph Bohner, and the fact that he played the X-Men universe’s version of the character whose personality he assumed in Westview was a coincidence. But therein lies the danger of theorizing – it’s incredibly fun, particularly in comic-book franchises where there are no shortage of rabbit holes to dive down, but you shouldn’t let it interfere with your ability to enjoy a story that turns out to be doing something completely different than what you theorized.

At the same time, I do think filmmakers and showrunners could perhaps refrain from overhyping literally every reveal, as seemed to sometimes be the case with WandaVision, if only to protect their own projects from inevitable fan backlash. But caving in to the most absurd fan theories is also a bad idea: how much further afield would The Falcon And The Winter Soldier have drifted in its middle section if it had had to stop and introduce Wolverine in Madripoor?

All of that is to say: Julia Louis-Dreyfus popping up in The Falcon And The Winter Soldier as an iconic character from Marvel Comics was the perfect kind of surprise, because, while it’s quite a brief cameo, and doesn’t distract a bit from the main narrative, it’s also fun, unpredictable (while still making sense in hindsight, like any good twist), and allows us to do some rabbit-hole diving right now, as we discuss the past, present, and future, of Contessa Valentina Allegra de Fontaine (no, I will not abbreviate it to Val: Contessa Valentina Allegra de Fontaine literally says in the episode never to do that, and my SEO optimization says to pad my posts with at least 600 words).

Formally known as La Contessa Valentina Allegra de la Fontaine, the character first appeared in the Nick Fury: Agent Of S.H.I.E.L.D. comics in the late 1960’s, with her backstory mostly shrouded in mystery, but generally giving the impression that she was a fabulously wealthy Italian heiress until her parents were killed, at which point her skills as a hand-to-hand fighter and sharpshooter caught the eye of S.H.I.E.L.D., and she was recruited into the organization as Agent 14. Appointed leader of the all-women S.H.I.E.L.D. team “Femme Force”, Contessa Valentina Allegra de Fontaine’s working relationship with Nick Fury quickly became a romantic one – so romantic, in fact, the Comics Code Authority intervened.

More recently, La Contessa has played a major role in the Secret Invasion storyline, being the victim of a Skrull impersonator. While laying low in Britain, she worked alongside Lance Hunter, who has already appeared in the MCU-adjacent Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. TV series. And then her entire backstory was retconned, and she was revealed to be a Russian sleeper agent working with the organization known as Leviathan to infiltrate HYDRA, leading to her taking over the title of Madame Hydra.

In the MCU, all we know about her comes from her exceedingly brief interaction with John Walker, during which she tells him to keep in touch with her as he might prove “very, very valuable to certain people”. Although she never states her true purpose, her knowledge of classified state secrets suggests a connection to either S.H.I.E.L.D. or HYDRA – and her threatening aura (plus the villainous purple highlights in her hair, an upgrade from her Bride of Frankenstein-esque white streak in the comics) makes the latter more likely. We also know from Vanity Fair that Julia Louis-Dreyfus was originally supposed to debut in Black Widow, most likely in a post-credits scene.

That, coupled with the handful of hints she drops, have led many to believe she’ll be assembling the MCU’s Thunderbolts (a team of reformed villains from the comics) or Dark Avengers (a team of evil doppelgangers of the original Avengers), jumping from films to Disney+ shows and back to recruit all the best baddies onto her team before they can be killed or imprisoned. She just missed her opportunity to accost Baron Zemo (the original founder of the Thunderbolts in the comics), but the fact that he’s currently on his way to The Raft rather than Wakanda makes it easier for La Contessa to potentially break him out. And if she does appear in Black Widow, that’ll probably be where she picks up Natasha Romanoff’s younger sister, Yelena Belova.

Since she’s clearly being set up as a puppet-master of sorts, she may also be tied to the Power-Broker of Madripoor – and there’s a possibility they’re one and the same. That honestly makes more sense than Sharon Carter being the Power-Broker herself, since she doesn’t seem to have much motive to design an army of Super-Soldiers. But Carter could be working for La Contessa, something that would parallel the characters’ dynamic in the comics, where Carter was a Femme Force member and the two were rivals for the team’s leadership position.

It’s also important to note that even if Contessa Valentina Allegra de Fontaine is affiliated with HYDRA, and even if she does call herself Madame Hydra, that doesn’t somehow retcon Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.‘s version of Madame Hydra out of existence, as some people are claiming. S.H.I.E.L.D.‘s Madame Hydra is a character from the HYDRA-operated Framework simulation, not even a real person, and her character design was lifted from Ophelia Sarkissian, another woman who wears the title in the comics. Haters love to claim Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. isn’t MCU canon, but it still lives rent-free in their heads.

There also remains the slight chance that La Contessa isn’t a straight-up villain. A lot of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents are just…kind of shady, particularly those in Nick Fury’s inner circle. I think this is least likely out of all the options, but if it means we get to see Samuel L. Jackson and Julia Louis-Dreyfus flirting all the way through the Secret Invasion series, I’d be okay with keeping her on S.H.I.E.L.D.’s side for a little while. Though it would be even more entertaining if they’re bitter exes on opposite sides of a conflict between their teams, whose romantic history allows them to predict their insignificant other’s next moves.

So what do you think Contessa Valentina Allegra de Fontaine is plotting? Which team of villains should she be assembling, and why? Share your own thoughts, theories, and opinions, in the comments below!