“Cats” Trailer Review!

KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!

The first trailer for the upcoming holiday musical Cats has dropped. I don’t…I don’t even know what to say…this is…it’s…disturbing. It’s not remotely charming, or sweet – it doesn’t look like something you’d ever want to take your family to go see for Christmas. The cats are repulsive, grotesque and terrifying. The whole…everything…okay, I just need to breathe for a moment and get some bleach for my eyes. Hold on a second.

Okay, I’m back: my eyes still don’t quite understand what they just witnessed, but my brain does – I just stared deep into the cavernous abyss of hell. I just watched anthropomorphic cats more frightening than the recent Sonic the Hedgehog, dancing around and grinning toothily at each other, singing and prancing about, a frenzy of flailing limbs and almost nauseating imagery. These cats are the product of one of Tim Burton’s nightmares. If you close your eyes while viewing the trailer, you might be able to survive the experience, just listening to Jennifer Hudson’s decent rendition of “Memories” – but if you dare to peek, you’ll be greeted with…whatever it was that I just saw. I don’t even know how to describe it. The only good thing about this trailer is that the thumbnail doesn’t display any of the terrors within, so I don’t have to look at it ever again.

Not only does it not look like a Christmas movie, it doesn’t even look family-friendly: it’s just creepy and gross. The fact that Universal Studios would actually allow this to see the light of day is just mind-boggling to me. I wouldn’t be surprised if it gets scrapped, though, considering how overwhelmingly negative the reaction has been (except from certain communities who find anthropomorphic animals attractive, but let’s just not even go there, okay?)

So…um, yeah. If you’re looking for a holiday horror movie, this might be your cup of tea – I don’t know why else you would ever consider seeing this.

Trailer Rating: 1/10

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